A Word About...Decisions and Destiny and the Year of the Ox




Sometimes you can get all tied up in knots trying to figure out one's path in life fretting about your life purpose, fate, or destiny.


I am at a place where learning to make healthy decisions is the best route to contributing to one's destiny. Far too often, I let fate dictate what would be in store for me or wait for someone to do the right thing in an ugly situation. I know, silly me. Now I realize it is up to oneself to participate in the unfolding of their destiny by making decisions and embracing the power of choice. I see destiny as one’s life purpose morphing and generating energy to be one’s best. By contemplating our highest and greatest good, we naturally gravitate towards our best selves. Yes, there is a bit of meeting halfway between allowing the unfolding and making it happen, but I no longer am paralyzed waiting and watching myself or others.


Outside of our instinctual “flight, fight or freeze” model lies many other routes of self-discovery. These more updated options like raising your vibration and energy level, breathing exercises, and appreciating where you are in the 'here and now' are all practices just like everything else in life. Just being curious about yourself is a perfect place to start contemplating one’s destiny. The great late publisher Louise Hay suggested one ask for more understanding so one may knowingly and lovingly shape one's world and experiences. This can then directly assist in seeing new opportunities/choices and making decisions from a place of loving-kindness (thank you, Sharon Salzberg).


Many years ago I wanted to go on a safari for my honeymoon. In fact, the guide told me I was known in the back office of the tour operation as, “the bride desperate for a safari.” Mind you, this was almost 28 years ago but I still carry that sense of desperation sometimes. It is a bit cringe-worthy when I judge myself as that desperate girl or see her as a dismayed individual. But dear friends and healers urged me to embrace her as she ultimately knows the way. And yes, the path is paved in wisdom accrued in experiences like nobody's business! As a side note, I did get that safari and it was not desperation that got me there. It was my resourcefulness and ability to let myself dream it and live it.


There is prevalent thinking among spiritually-based practitioners that we humans are attached to a fear-based storyline and upgrading to a faith-based one would do us a world of good (thank you Carolyn Myss). How to make this leap? For us older folks we may accumulate our wisdom with experience and age and have a lovely sensing of, 'knowing' it is all a part of the process. Younger people might need to hear that classic line, “things are not happening to you but for you.” Either way, it is within this evolving space and awareness that helps clarity arise. All this contemplation encapsulates the notion of work and vision coming together for 2021. What do you want to take with you into the new year?


If you find yourself in classic fight/flight/freeze mode, consider the diplomatic approach. There is no need to accuse, attack, or actively judge and be jury to yourself or others. Diplomatically making decisions that create the destiny you want for yourself is formidable. When you are not sure how to approach a situation, think of the presence of grace.


Grace is called upon as a tool to help you exercise your sovereignty. What is the most generous and loving way to approach yourself and others? Consider what renovations are required in your personal, professional, and spiritual spheres. 2021 is the year of the ox, a common animal we can take for granted as food in some parts of the world, valued as sacred in others, and used for transportation and labor as well. Knowing these global interpretations, I wonder how the ox can help each of us adapt and reach our higher selves? Can this earthly creature serve as fertile ground for you to get your bovine on?


I am such a fan of celebrating the differences and diversities among us instead of systematically haplessly allowing them to destroy and discriminate against otherwise healthy relationships. The weaponization of human bonds within ourselves and others needs to be addressed, deconstructed and discarded as we head into 2021. The disarmament of using human relationships as weaponry to justify one’s own lousy behavior or others means releasing connections that no longer serve you. For example, if you are prone to negative self chatter or gossiping with others to make yourself feel superior it might be time for a shake-up. This can include familial, professional, or personal relationships that have run their course. Discernment is omni-important for basic healthy boundaries with one another. Properly calibrated discernment allows us a glimpse into our interconnectedness and oneness that the ox embodies throughout our natural world.